dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
