I CAN MOONWALK!
I skipped work to stalk him.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.