Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
