She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
