I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize