I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Randomize
