I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
