GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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