you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Shame - the story of my life.
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