he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
