there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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