she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
