I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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