Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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