my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
