Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize