Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
