And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
