I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think pants incapable of making pants work
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
