My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
