You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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