Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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