I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
