I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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