There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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