If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize