drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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