youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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