In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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