whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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