You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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