Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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