i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just pynch a tree in the face
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
