bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
