Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
