That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
