you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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