It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
