Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
