She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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