There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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