508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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