Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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