I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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