Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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