i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
