David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
