i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The uberlube is also flammable
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
