Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
