I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
