so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
