I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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