I just threw up on my dentist
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This is the high leading the old right now
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
