He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have fence marks all over my body
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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