absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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