I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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