You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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