Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
